How to be a best man without getting a black eye

wedding speeches

Avoid the best man bear traps!

So, you’ve been asked to be the best man at your mate’s wedding.

Now, all you have to do is organise the stag night, keep the rings safe, and write a killer best man’s speech.

There are some subjects, though, that you should stay away from in that speech.

Give them a wide berth…or you could find yourself in hot water.

  1. Brexit

It’s the bad boy of subjects which divide people. We’re also sick to the back teeth of it on the news every night, in every newspaper, and being talked about down the pub. Enough, already! Time to declare your speech a Brexit-free zone.

  1. Politics

Unless the bride and groom are both MPs and all the families are committed activists, stay away from it. Most families have lots of different political views and you’ll end up offending someone.

  1. Old grudges/family feuds

Honestly, do we really need to tell you not to go there? You don’t want anyone to end up in the local paper/magistrates’ court, do you?

  1. The bride’s past relationships

Look, do you have a death wish? Do you want to end up with a black eye inflicted by the father of the bride or the groom? However tempting it might be, DO NOT GO THERE! This is especially true if you have some history with the bride. You’re on thin ice, mate…

  1. Smut

Yeah, yeah, you’re the cock of the walk in the pub when you regale them with tales which would make Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown blush. You’re not in the pub now. You’re standing in front of mums, dads, grans, grandfathers, and, possibly, a vicar. Leave the bar room talk where it belongs – in the bar.

  1. In jokes

Few people will understand what you’re referring to, and it will confuse people. Tempting though it is to use them, leave them out. Or, if the issue is so compelling that you can’t, explain it.

So, what should you do?

Make it personal – reflect the personalities of the bride and groom.

Make it short and sweet – don’t go on and on.

Write fresh jokes – taking them from the internet will mean they’ve been heard thousands of times before.

Take a look at celebrity wedding speeches – see how they did and shamelessly nick their best ideas.

Ask for help – ask friends and family for stories and anecdotes and consider getting a professional to help you structure your speech.


Could we help you make a big impact as best man? Get in touch with the Speechmonkey here.


Need tips on how to make that speech? Talk to us, we’ll help ensure it goes smoothly

Call us today for a no-obligation chat on 07840 933009